Barack Obama has been elected the 44^th President of the United States.  Then why did McCain seem to be the happier one?

Barack Obama will become this nation’s first African-American President. Oh, who we kidding. Oprah’s been running this country for years.

I pray health and protection for our new President. And that the likes of Rev. Wright and Jesse Jackson, et al, will come out and say, "Gee, maybe America isn't as racist as we thought."  

It was the biggest turnout in history. Obama even got more votes than David Cook!

President Bush immediately called the President-Elect to congratulate him on an "awesome night." "Thank you, Mr. President," said Obama, "It was an honor running against you."

John McCain gave a gracious, even eloquent concession speech.  In fact, it was so moving, Hillary said, "Wow. Maybe I should do one now too!"

Jesse Jackson was spotted in the crowd at Grant Park weeping. "It shoulda been me! It shoulda been me!"

And finally, Sarah Palin was philosophical: "On the bright side, now I get to go on Oprah!" 

Early exit polling is leaning towards Obama. Meaning, Obama is doing well amongst people who like talking to early exit pollsters.

 

Sarah Palin's doctor says the Alaskan governor is in excellent health and that no health issues would keep her from executing the duties of Vice President. Well, except for folks being sick to death of a Republican in the White House.

And here's the latest...

ELECTION UPDATE #1

Barack Obama voted early in Illinois: How confident is Barack Obama? He’s told ACORN they can knock off their ballot stuffing early today.

Sarah Palin voted before the sun came up in Wasilla. Of course, if she waited until the sun came up she'd be there 'til March.

Barack Obama tells MTV he’s against gay marriage, but also against California’s Proposition 8 which would define marriage as union between a man and a woman.  What skill. Most politicians have to wait to get to the end of a sentence before flip-flopping.

Barack Obama got testy with reporters who followed him when he went trick-or-treating with his daughter. The trouble started when he forced other children to hand over their candy to kids too lazy to trick-or-treat.

John McCain was on Saturday Night Live along with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin.  Fey must have been believable. Anonymous McCain aides blamed Fey for the skit not being absolutely hilarious.

 

Will try to post jokes all day long as election day goes...but first, from last night...

So Joe Biden thinks "Jobs" is a three-letter word. He would have counted the letters using his fingers, but they were too busy reaching into our pocketbooks.

News Burp:  Barack Obama suggested today a change in the US motto.  No longer will it be "From the Many One." Soon it'll be "From THE ONE, Many Taxes."

I was at the Carson rally. And so far EVERYBODY in the media has missed what Palin really did. The "palling with terrorists" line wasn't the point. That Obama feels comfortable in the company of terrorists is a given.  The real theme of Palin's message -- and one that will resonate -- was the set-up. Basically she said "Maybe it's because Obama thinks so little of America that he's able to be palling around with terrorists." 

There's your theme. There's your reality.  "Obama thinks little of America." It ties everything together.

He thinks so little of America (and Americans) that he'll accuse our troops of bombing villages.

He thinks so little of America he won't wear a flag pin til convenient.

He thinks so little of America he'll sit for decades under a pastor who blasts this great land from his pulpit.

He thinks so little of America that he thinks a majority of us "cling" to religion and guns.

He thinks so little of America he'll go to Berlin and not tout this nation.

He thinks so little of America he can't take a few minutes to see our troops.

He thinks so little of America he couldn't be bothered to visit Iraq until goaded into it by McCain.

He thinks so little of America he can't even speak of victory for our troops in Iraq.

He thinks so little of America he would allow his campaign ads mock the war wounds of John McCain.

And yes, he thinks so little of America that he had no problem having his political career launched from the home of and accepting a job with and being "friendly" with a terrorist who tried blowing up the same building Obama wants to stand in front of to take the oath of office.

 

Toss in a wife who wasn't even proud of America until her husband started doing well in the Presidential race, offering to be a savior for the nation rather than a servant of it, and the support of every organization and celebrity who seem to blame the US for all the world's ills, and the portrait's complete. Yes, Palin summarized in one sentence what Democrats started figuring out by the later primaries but couldn’t articulate and I think a majority of Americans will realize by Election Day:

 

Barack Obama wants to lead us, but he doesn't really like us.

If you haven't heard, McCain and Obama will be debating tonight. Forget Russia or Iran, the biggest issue they face at this hour is "Do I go with the red tie or the yellow tie?"  Tonight, while content will play its part, it's the imagery that'll carry the day. Does Obama "look" and "sound" presidential? Does McCain look like he's going to keel over?  Will Obama be wearing the flag pins he's suddenly taken a shine to? Will McCain drag a travel bag on stage to make the point he'll be back on the plane before Keith, Campbell and Katie have a chance to tell America how horrible he did?