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Election News Burps: Election Day #2

ELECTION UPDATE #1

Barack Obama voted early in Illinois: How confident is Barack Obama? He’s told ACORN they can knock off their ballot stuffing early today.

Sarah Palin voted before the sun came up in Wasilla. Of course, if she waited until the sun came up she'd be there 'til March.

Barack Obama tells MTV he’s against gay marriage, but also against California’s Proposition 8 which would define marriage as union between a man and a woman.  What skill. Most politicians have to wait to get to the end of a sentence before flip-flopping.

Barack Obama got testy with reporters who followed him when he went trick-or-treating with his daughter. The trouble started when he forced other children to hand over their candy to kids too lazy to trick-or-treat.

John McCain was on Saturday Night Live along with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin.  Fey must have been believable. Anonymous McCain aides blamed Fey for the skit not being absolutely hilarious.

 

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Election Day News Burps!

Will try to post jokes all day long as election day goes...but first, from last night...

Election Day. It’s all over, but for the voting…and the lawsuits, and the accusations, and the laying of blame, and the establishment of 2012 exploration committees, and the…

Barack Obama maintains the lead in polls, but John McCain insists he’s still going to win. And by win he means return to his hot zillionaire wife with the beer distribution company.

The white grandma Barack Obama compared to Reverend Wright during the primaries has passed away. And no, it was not from injuries sustained this summer when he threw her under the bus.

In newly discovered audio tape, Barack Obama expresses his plans to bankrupt coal companies and send electric bills sky high.  Who cares, as long as he looks good in that Inaugural tux?

At a campaign event, Joe Biden said, “girl-girls are tougher than girl boys.”  Unfortunately, he was not speaking through an interpreter, so we have no idea what the heck he meant.

Sarah Palin was the victim of a prank call by Canadian DJ’s pretending to be the French President.  The jocks were very believable. In fact, during the call they offered to surrender the French Riviera to Alaska. 

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Media Misses Sarah's Point About Obama


I was at the Carson rally. And so far EVERYBODY in the media has missed what Palin really did. The "palling with terrorists" line wasn't the point. That Obama feels comfortable in the company of terrorists is a given.  The real theme of Palin's message -- and one that will resonate -- was the set-up. Basically she said "Maybe it's because Obama thinks so little of America that he's able to be palling around with terrorists." 

There's your theme. There's your reality.  "Obama thinks little of America." It ties everything together.

He thinks so little of America (and Americans) that he'll accuse our troops of bombing villages.

He thinks so little of America he won't wear a flag pin til convenient.

He thinks so little of America he'll sit for decades under a pastor who blasts this great land from his pulpit.

He thinks so little of America that he thinks a majority of us "cling" to religion and guns.

He thinks so little of America he'll go to Berlin and not tout this nation.

He thinks so little of America he can't take a few minutes to see our troops.

He thinks so little of America he couldn't be bothered to visit Iraq until goaded into it by McCain.

He thinks so little of America he can't even speak of victory for our troops in Iraq.

He thinks so little of America he would allow his campaign ads mock the war wounds of John McCain.

And yes, he thinks so little of America that he had no problem having his political career launched from the home of and accepting a job with and being "friendly" with a terrorist who tried blowing up the same building Obama wants to stand in front of to take the oath of office.

 

Toss in a wife who wasn't even proud of America until her husband started doing well in the Presidential race, offering to be a savior for the nation rather than a servant of it, and the support of every organization and celebrity who seem to blame the US for all the world's ills, and the portrait's complete. Yes, Palin summarized in one sentence what Democrats started figuring out by the later primaries but couldn’t articulate and I think a majority of Americans will realize by Election Day:

 

Barack Obama wants to lead us, but he doesn't really like us.

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The Winning Image

We know two things from the primary season: 1) McCain loves being the underdog and finishing strong. 2) Obama couldn't really close the deal. He won only because of delegates accrued before anyone really knew anything. Spin all you want, my dear democratic friends, but the more democrats looked at Obama the less they liked. So you've got one candidate who gets stronger the longer you look versus one who gets weaker the longer you look. Moving to VP, what do we know? We've got one guy who's got Washington Insider tattooed on his forehead versus a woman who's so far "Outside the Beltway" her state isn't even attached to the rest of us. You've got somebody who's been a public figure for decades without making a cultural dent versus somebody who in a matter of days is the stuff of SNL legend. Now, we all know congress is as dysfunctional as the Spears family and a lot less productive. We know the government's not working right and the cosy Washington-Wall Street relationship makes "Dirty Sexy Money" look like "The Brady Bunch." So now imagine the two tickets heading down Pennsylvania Avenue. You've got Obama-Biden. Is there anything at all in their records --or even personas --that suggests they'd shake things up? Now, picture the same image, but this time it's McCain-Palin marching towards Capital Hill. Doesn't something rise in you that says, "Oh, yeah. It's ON"? Can't you sense the Capitol building quaking? Knees on K Street shaking? Bureaucrats along the route straightening up, hoping the duo doesn't look their way? That, friends, is an image of victory.
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A Bedtime Story: Fight on, Fight On

I'm starting to see here and elsewhere whispers and grumbles from Republican "insiders" that Sarah Palin was a mistake, and, yes, even should go.

I'd like to tell them, and all those who think Palin is a mistake, a little story. It's called "Fight On, Fight On."

A long, long time ago there was a cranky, but wizened old white haired guy regarded throughout the land as a maverick who not only marched to his own drum, he had his own marching band. There was a great mess in his nation's capital, and the Old Man was determined to fix it.  Much to the shock and surprise of the Town Criers and Brokers, he didn't spend his gold on a man of note or fame to lead the way to recovery.  Instead, he hired a modest man of faith with a thin resume toiling in obscurity in a far corner of the land. Some of the Criers and Brokers wondered, "Why him? Certainly there are better men than he."  Some openly mocked: "That goody-goody? He'll get eaten alive!"   The Old Man remained silent.    Then the Modest Man got to work.  Things did not go well. In fact, early on things went very wrong.  The Criers and Brokers pounced: "Loser! Hick! Send this rube back to fishing hole he came from!" And so it went for week after week.  
The calls for the Modest Man's ouster grew louder and louder. "Axe him! Axe him before it's too late!"

Finally the Old Man rose.  The Criers and Brokers rustled and murmured. "Certainly the Old Man will admit his mistake. Certainly the Modest Man is gone."  The Old Man cleared his throat.  The town went silent. 

Then the Old Man spoke:  "Joe Gibbs stays." 

And Redskin fans lived happily ever -- well, at least for a bunch of years -- after.

The Moral: "Fight On, Fight On, 'Til You Have Won, Daughter of Wasila..."  

The End

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